The fall term is almost over, we will soon have made it through finals and winter break will be upon us. For those of you who will be spending the holidays locally, here are some events taking place in Monmouth, Salem and Portland.
In the Monmouth and Rickreall area there are a handful of holiday events to look forward to; in addition to the annual Tree Lighting Ceremony that takes place on campus, the Western Hemisphere Orchestra will be performing in Rice Auditorium on Dec. 3 at 7:30 p.m.
Eola Hills Wine Cellars in Rickreall is hosting their Enchanted Christmas in the Wine Cellar, Dec. 5 and 6, with musical guest Michael Allen Harrison. The concert begins at 7 p.m., but seating is limited, so guests are encouraged to make reservations.
If you’re looking for activities in the Salem area then check out Christmas in the Garden. Starting Nov. 25 and running through Jan. 1, there will be daily ice skating, with additional festivities Thursdays-Sundays such as a traditional German Christmas market, live music and carolers, and a light display in Rediscovery Forest. See oregongarden.org for event details.
There is a Craft Bazaar and Chanukah Sale at Temple Beth Sholom in Salem featuring hand-crafted goods that takes place Sundays from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. through Dec. 4.
Also in Salem, Enlightened Theatrics will be running their special holiday edition of “Forever Plaid” Wednesdays-Sundays now through Dec. 11 at Salem’s Historic Grand Theater.
Portland is hosting a plethora of festive events to look forward to this holiday season including lights, music, and a number of beer and ale festivals. Zoo Lights will run from Nov. 25 through Jan. 1, starting after 4 p.m. at the Oregon Zoo.
Christmas at the Grotto will run the whole month of December and features over 500,000 lights, with choral singers and hot chocolate present.
The Oregon Ballet Theater will perform the Nutcracker Ballet at Keller Auditorium select nights through Dec. 26. For those 21 and over, there is a Holiday Ale Festival December 1-4 at Pioneers Courthouse Square; the St. Johns Winter Beer Fest in St. John’s, Dec. 9-11; and Ciderfest 2016 which takes place Dec. 16 at EastBurn, and supports Toys for Tots.
Looking for a band that delivers rock reminiscent of the great classics? Look no further than Radkey, an American rock group made of three brothers from St. Joseph, Missouri. The home-schooled brothers are Dee Radke as the lead singer and guitarist, Isaiah Radke as the bassist and Solomon Radke as the drummer.
Their father Matt Radke is their manager and has made it possible for them to play with bands such as Descendents, Jack White, The Offspring and many more. Their recent rise in popularity is due to their debut album re-released in 2016 renamed as “Delicious Rock Noise.”
The three brothers played at The Space Concert Hub on Nov. 17 with the Rivercity Royals as their opening act. Radkey was not the type of band that wanted to stand and talk to their audience — they came to perform, and that is exactly what they did.
Throughout their whole concert, they played with an unspoken synchronicity, transitioning into each new song without so much as a glance to one another; they seemed completely relaxed in their element.
Their music has a similar vibe to that of The Misfits and makes audience members bob their heads and tap their feet along with the exciting beats of each song. The two brothers, Dee and Isaiah, were constantly jumping around and letting their bodies move to the music, even doing fun stage moves such as lowering to the ground back to back and laying on the ground with their guitar or bass raised.
The three brothers can play a multitude of instruments, but when it comes to the band they stick to their three mediums. They described that being home-schooled and living with their dad’s record collection made them want to pursue music. They are all self taught as well when it comes to music, setting aside their time to master instruments. Their role models when it comes to music are Weezer, Nirvana, Foo Fighters and other classic groups.
Discussing their future plans Isaiah said, “We plan to stick with music for as long as we can and just try and have a good time.”
They have a new album in the making with no specific release date; their plan is to have it released by next year.
Radkey is a band that really cares about creating and delivering music that gets the crowd going. I highly recommend this rock group to anyone who wants something that has ties to classic rock while delivering an exciting new sound.
Local little libraries make a big impact on communities
Natalie Dean | Entertainment Editor
Sunny days are best enjoyed with a lounge chair and a captivating book, but sometimes it feels impossible to find the “right” book to start reading. With local little libraries, it’s easy to explore new titles provided by the community. These libraries can be made by families, bought online or provided by organizations, and they offer a convenient and interactive way to get involved in the community by having others take or donate well-loved books. Here are just a few little libraries in the area, out of the many that are in Oregon:
Monmouth
MaMere’s Guest House ⏤ 212 Knox St. N. This little library is a replica of the historic house and is crafted entirely from LEGO’s. It’s complete with LEGO flowers, a miniature library and a black cat that roams the property.
Monmouth Montessori School ⏤ 1140 East Main St. This library is for anyone to enjoy, take a short walk to discover the big blue butterfly on the back of the library — with this cute design, it’s hard to miss.
Salem and Keizer
American Antique Hardware ⏤ 2983 D St. NE. This red and blue library is bigger than others since it’s in a larger neighborhood and a busier location. Supported by the surrounding seven homes in the area, they have all come together to offer books for all ages in English and Spanish.
Oneil Library ⏤ 7426 Oneil Road NE. This royal blue library was built in 2019 by Donovan Karnes for his Eagle Scout Project, with the help of Boy Scout Troop 7067.
Little Free Library ⏤ 5908 Legacy St. SE. Smaller and tucked away, these wooden navy blue walls hold a selection of children’s books and adult literature.
Eugene
Anthony and Jodie St. Clair’s ⏤ 1260 Beebe Lane. This blue and purple library was gifted to Anthony and Jodie St. Clair by Nancy Nathanson and the River Road Community Organization. Now, they pass on their love for reading by sharing their colorful library with the community.
Treetops Little Free Library ⏤ 3049 Deerbrush Way. Parked in the shade from the trees in Southwest Eugene, this library is made from rich, dark wood that will immediately catch the eye. Snag a book to add some excitement to the day.
Cole Family Library ⏤ 553 North Bertelsen Road. This is the second library made by the Cole family, and they’re back and better than ever. With the adorable addition of a flower doorknob, small flower beds and windows, anyone in the neighborhood can enjoy their labor of love.
With summer coming up, it’s important to have more than one way to spend the long days. Some people kill time by picking up new hobbies, or through experimenting with different types of arts and crafts. Rock painting is one activity that can be relaxing and turned into an artistic outlet, and it’s one craft that requires few materials.
One easy way to find materials is by collecting rocks on walks and checking to see if there’s any old paint laying around the house. Sharpies work in a pinch and can add more detail to painted pieces. If out of paint, consider using leftover nail polish or spray paint to decorate. With hundreds of possible designs ⏤ ranging from animals, flowers, bees, candy and bugs ⏤ there’s something for everyone.
There are tons of official rock painting groups spread out across Oregon, all with their own vibrant communities and unique designs. To get started in the rock painting world, try joining Facebook groups and looking for rock painting hashtags on other social media platforms, like Instagram and Twitter. It can even be an opportunity to share one’s own work and artistic skills, or it can just be a fun family activity. These rock painting pages and communities in Oregon can all be found on Facebook:
The Smith Fine Arts Series hosted the Seamus Egan Project on March 12, bringing Irish folk-style music to campus just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. This group of four talented musicians wowed audiences with their lively music.
Egan exhibited his skills on many instruments throughout the performance, such as guitar, banjo and flute. In some songs, like his original “Welcome to Orwell,” Egan demonstrated an impressive mastery of the tin whistle, which is similar to a recorder.
Among those performing with Egan was Jenna Moynihan, who played the fiddle and provided vocals for certain songs, like in their rendition of “The Blackest Crow.” Her voice was a hauntingly beautiful departure from the jaunty tunes before it.
Also on stage was Kyle Sanna, an incredibly talented guitarist, who provided back up vocals to Moynihan.
Owen Marshall played mandolin with the group, and provided added humor to the various introductions that preceded songs. His banter with Egan loosened the performers on stage while also creating a sense of familiarity between the musicians and the audience.
One song in particular stood out as Egan introduced it. “Mr. and Mrs. Walsh,” Egan explained, was written after his sister eloped with her then-fiance. The eventual reconciliation with their mother inspired the tune.
“It was a situation that called for a banjo,” Egan said of the song — drawing laughs from the audience.
Each musician played completely in sync with one another, and when the set list had finished, the audience’s applause brought the group back to the stage for an encore.
The cover for Lord Huron’s album “Strange Trails,” which “The Night We Met” is featured on. | Photo from Apple Music
Oct 22 2025 | Jaylin Emond-Hardin | Entertainment Editor
Fall is officially upon us, or, as fans of the “Twilight” franchise like to say, it’s when the weather starts to feel like “hoa hoa hoa” — the intro for “Eyes on Fire” by Blue Foundation, which is featured in the soundtrack of the franchise’s first installment.
This curated list is meant to embody the feeling that “Twilight” and “Eyes on Fire” emulate: foggy Pacific Northwest days, a blue filtered world and enough emotions to blur the line between longing and magic — where love feels both dangerous and inevitable, the air smells like rain, and everything aches in muted shades of gray and silver.
Movies:
“Practical Magic” — The Owens sisters — played by Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman — hail from a line of witches where any man who loves an Owens woman meets his untimely demise. The film combines romance, comedy and supernatural family drama as the sisters attempt to break the family curse. Equal parts warm and spooky, it explores themes of love, loss and sisterhood. “Practical Magic” is available to stream on HBO Max and is free with ads on Tubi.
“The Lovely Bones” — After she’s murdered, 14-year-old Susie Salmon — played by Saoirse Ronan — watches her family from the afterlife as they grieve and her killer remains at large. Alternating between Salmon’s desire to help solve her murder and the living characters’ attempts to heal and find the truth, it’s an emotional adaptation of Alice Sebold’s novel of the same name. The film is currently streaming on Paramount+.
Shows:
“Twin Peaks” — Set in the Pacific Northwest in the early ‘90s, “Twin Peaks” follows FBI agent Dale Cooper as he investigates the murder of Laura Palmer. There, he discovers a town full of secrets, surreal visions and supernatural undercurrents. The series itself mixes noir-style investigation with quirky small-town characters and the persistent sense that something wrong is happening under the surface — all with the iconic surrealism of showrunner David Lynch. The original 1990 series and the 2017 return are both streaming on Paramount+.
“Bates Motel” — A prequel series to Alfred Hitchcock’s iconic film “Psycho,” this series follows Norma and Norman Bates as they open the titular Bates Motel. Throughout the series, Norman Bates’ fragile psychology unravels under his mother’s intense, codependent influence, and it’s a slow-burning character study, chronologizing Norman Bates’ descent under his mother’s increasingly desperate attempts to protect him from outside influences. “Bates Motel” stars iconic actors, including Vera Farmiga, Freddie Highmore and Olivia Cooke — known for “The Conjuring” universe, “The Good Doctor” and “The House of the Dragon” respectively — and is streaming on Amazon Prime.
Books:
“If I Stay” by Gayle Forman — After her family gets in a catastrophic car accident, 17-year-old Mia has an out-of-body experience where she sees her loved ones struggle with grief and she decides whether she should stay alive or pass with her family. Set in Portland, Oregon, the novel explores love and memory, while also forcing the reader to consider the emotional weight of the choice between life and death. The novel is followed by its 2011 sequel, “Where She Went,” which continues Mia’s story three years after she woke from her coma.
“The Near Witch” by V.E. Schwab — Schwab’s debut novel follows Lexi in her small town of Near, a place that doesn’t welcome strangers and believes the past should stay buried. When a boy appears on the moor and children start vanishing from their beds, the townspeople suspect he is the cause. But Lexi doesn’t think that’s the case. As she investigates, Lexi uncovers the truth about the “Near Witch,” someone once thought to be a bedtime story. Weaving folklore with fear and feminine strength, Schwab’s writing is poetic, creating less of a fast-paced fantasy and more of a haunting love letter to ancient legends.
Music:
“The Night We Met” by Lord Huron — One of my all-time favorite songs, “The Night We Met” is a haunting ballad, drenched in longing and regret. The narrator mourns a long-lost love, stuck in the moment everything changed. With the desperate wish to return to the night when things were still “perfect,” the narrator focuses on the pain of losing the person he loves most. With soft reverb and echoing vocals, the song captures the ache and melancholy of memory so well, it leaves listeners aching for a time they might not even be sure exists. This song’s power lies in its restraint — it doesn’t try to explain love and loss, it allows listeners to actively feel it.
“All I Want” by Kodaline —This raw, emotional anthem talks about heartbreak, loneliness and the lingering hope that love might return to the narrator. The beginning is soft, like a confession, before it swells in an emotional crescendo, and expresses the painful contraction of loving someone who’s gone but being unable to let them go. While the lyrics are simple, they are deeply human: “If you loved me, why’d you leave me?” Kodaline’s emotional vocals and the song’s build are what make it cathartic, not sad, but a cleansing of everything that was left unsaid.
Of course, last on this list is any of the multitude of media in the “Twilight” franchise; they are, after all, what inspired this list, so how could I leave them out? All movies in the series are currently streaming on Disney+ and Hulu, which have seemingly become the permanent home for them for the time being.
With the weather turning foggy, it is the perfect time to wear Henleys, get lost in a small town and accuse the brooding boy from biology of being a vampire.
Whether art is one’s passion or hobby, it is important to acknowledge how impactful it can be on one’s life.
Morgan Amerson Horton, this month’s senior artist in the WUC, explores the concept of art as a reflection of life in their exhibit “Color Me Surprised.” This exhibit uses colors and different mediums to bring the pieces to life.
Below is Amerson Horton talking about what makes them the artist they are today.
“The interest I have in art has always been innate. It is something I have tried to incorporate into everything I do. I am constantly observing, seeing where beauty has left its mark. Graffiti on the side of a train, sculptures and architecture that seemed to go unnoticed, the unique faces and lives of the passerby…
I got my creative start from watching everything my mom did. She painted us kids huge murals in our bedrooms, each one unique to our ‘theme.’ She’s stayed up late helping us create projects for our classes. Her and I have refurbished furniture, painted anything under the sun, and put together incredible decorative events. We have always been a dynamic duo.
My dad doesn’t have an artistic bone in his body but he has always shown his love for what I do. When he was writing his book A God Nearby: Three Medieval Views of Immanence and Transcendence, he asked me to create the cover. He even has the painting hung up in his office; as if my art isn’t all over the house.
My parents’ encouragement in my pursuit for the arts is something I have always been glad to have. I couldn’t be where I am today without their all-encompassing support in me.
I am often inspired by a feeling of nostalgia or personal history. My Memory series encompasses the many places I’ve lived in and what was influential/important to me while I was there. The sculpture ‘Light of My Life’ invokes a feeling of household femininity, and childhood encapsulation. The natural environment is also a symbol in a lot of my works; florals especially.
Going back Memory, I incorporated the state flower in each pair as a way to add my adoration for the different environments I was surrounded by. This feeling is also represented in the sculpture ‘The Vastness of Reality.’ My biggest inspiration though is color.
I am repeatedly attracted to bright, fun, and colorful. That above all else takes place in what I do. Works like ‘Feel the Rainbow’ and ‘Go with the Flow’ encompasses my love for color and playful abstraction. It is obvious I am not shy to pushing the limit and being as loud as I can be.
If you take anything from my art, it’s to be 100% you. Don’t let others limit what you can create or what you can be. I have always been told I need to tone it down but I make what speaks to me. What feel’s natural.”
A Dungeons & Dragons movie has been in the works for a while now. Multiple studios fought to be the first to cater to the growing geek audience. Recently, on Mar. 10, Paramount Pictures graced the D&D community with “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves.”
Directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley, this riveting adventure-comedy stars Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Regé-Jean Page, Justice Smith, Sophia Lillis and Hugh Grant.
The campaign was set in the Forgotten Realms — a gameplay scenario designed by Ed Greenwood in 1967 and adapted into the D&D world in 1987 — and follows a band of social misfits on a quest to reunite a family.
This movie ticks all the boxes. The producers managed to perfectly capture the chaotic and spontaneous nature of a D&D campaign. From a tumbling chunky dragon almost squashing the crew to a thrown potato being the climax of the movie, one can feel the role-playing game integrated into almost every line.
Out of this chaos arises the humor that has helped rocket this film to box office success. There were several moments when I was doubled over in the theater — unable to see the screen due to the tears in my eyes.
The characters are very relatable — all very much human despite their fantasy-like nature. I frequently found myself relating to the wizard who could not use magic to fix any of their problems. Each character was loveable and developed well — the audience couldn’t help but root for them every step of the way.
While this movie had me rolling on the floor laughing, it also produced tender, heartwarming moments that satisfied both the heart and the wit. The storyline itself was complicated — closely resembling a game of D&D — but easy to follow. I would highly recommend this film to all those who enjoy role-playing games. It was truly a masterpiece and it is hopefully the first of many to come. This is such an interesting genre to explore because it allows such creativity for the writers and producers while still acting as the classic fantasy movie that audiences love.
The late September release of “Saw X” met box office success and critical acclaim as the film grossed $29.3 million worldwide on its opening weekend. Long-time fans of the “Saw”franchise have rejoiced at its return to the limelight, inciting countless sentimental reflections on its colorful history and cultural relevance. For almost 20 years, the continuing saga has dispensed dopamine fixes and unified audiences across the globe through their insatiable desire for psychologically unsettling storytelling, complex moral quandaries and labyrinthine narrative twists. Or, maybe they’re simply brought together by their hardwired, human hunger for ultraviolence.
While some critics dismiss the films with labels such as “torture porn,” others praise them for their deeper philosophical outlooks and metaphorical explorations of redemption — needle pits, anyone? But whether one is binging on gore or strung out on the subtleties of cinema, “Saw” leaves viewers of any disposition with a timeless takeaway: life is to be cherished.
I want to play a game. The game I want to play is not unlike the game of life. There’s a slow-acting poison coursing through the world that each and every person has the antidote for.
Are they going to watch themselves die, or are they going to do something about it?
Thankfully they’re not typically strapped by their teeth to a home-brew head shredder on a timer, and they don’t need to face their most personal flaws in a grimly ironic, gruesome death room. They don’t need to push the limits of self-mutilation or sacrifice the well-being of others for their survival.
But they will have to do some surgery. Somewhere inside of them is the glow of their passions. Can they find it?
Will they tend to it and radiate with its warmth? Or let it dwindle and die, and rob the world of their brilliance.
Life is a gift and it’s not to be squandered. In our contemporary world of nihilistic persuasion and ever-rising suicidal tendencies, it can be easy to forget that.
In the words of John Kramer, “Congratulations, you are alive. So many people are ungrateful to be alive, but not you. Not anymore.”
When you find yourself down because your date stands you up, there’s always free wood behind Rice Auditorium.
The life of dating a trash girl.
For the students looking to bypass all that romance and just get screwed, or buy screws, head to the local hardware store.
Looking to do a little pre-date grooming to make sure you’re looking your best for your upcoming date? Rent a Rug Doctor. Carpet cleaning is always a good choice.
Breaking into the old police station with a brick is always super romantic. We recommend borrowing one from a nearby construction site. Great for those college students on a budget.
Multiple sources report that despite literally no one giving a shit about this particular film franchise anymore, a major studio has acquired the rights to the somewhat well-regarded property, and is pillaging American’s sense of nostalgia to make a quick buck on a half-assed new installment that, it must be reiterated, no one really wanted.
“Yeah, I probably said at one point, ‘man, wouldn’t it be cool if they made a sequel,’ but I, you know, didn’t really … mean it,” said Dude McGuy, a fan of the original film, which was released sometime in the ‘80s, maybe the early ‘90s. “It just feels so cheap and soulless.”
“I’m probably still gonna see it though,” said McGuy, looking as sad and dejected as a man could possibly look.
The Journal reached out to A Movie Industry Fatcat, who was quoted as saying, “Moviegoers are sheep. You slap a name they recognize on a steaming pile of bear turd and they’ll buy millions and millions of tickets to writhe around in it for an hour and a half, just for that tiny little hit off the crack pipe of the past.”
After diving into his Scrooge McDuck-style pool of money, entirely made up of currency that people have spent on absolute garbage motion pictures, he removed several stacks of hundred-dollar bills from underneath his immense girthy folds, acquired from eating several fancy meals a day financed by the money we keep throwing at these studios to make absolute goddamn trash, he surfaced and continued, “Everything you have ever loved will be recycled through the corporate machine and spat back at you, and you will eat it and say you loved it because you’re a whore. Say it, you’re a filthy whore.”
I just can’t write about this anymore. I’m sorry, I’m just done. Goodbye, enjoy your shitty movies forever and ever now.
Here’s a picture of a stupid, stupid cat and I hope it brings you joy in this goddamned hollow existence.
April Fools Day Issue
By: Alvin Wilson
Staff Writer
After the unsuccessful attempt to deport Justin Bieber to Canada, Citizens for an America Without Bieber, an organization created with the goal of deporting Justin Bieber, decided that sending the pop idol to Monmouth, Oregon would have to do.
Bieber arrived in Monmouth on March 29 and was arrested within 24 hours by the Monmouth Police Department for drunk driving, reckless endangerment, and possession of illegal drugs.
According to eyewitness reports, Bieber left the Main Street Pub & Eatery after one too many drinks and got in his rented Lamborghini, mumbling something about wanting an ice cream cone.
“I knew there was something wrong when he stood up and peed his pants,” said one witness. “I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him, but he just said, ‘get out my way, yo,’ and stormed out.”
On his way to the Main Street Ice Cream Parlor, Bieber made an abrupt right turn, narrowly missed a group of students, and crashed into Crush Wine Bar and Tasting Room.
He totaled his Lamborghini and dealt considerable damage to the store’s front pillar and glass door.
Bieber mumbled, “I dvont member gettig outa ther plane,” as he was being pulled from his crushed vehicle. Authorities said they are unsure what he meant by the comment.
Upon Bieber’s arrest, authorities said they found alcohol, marijuana, Xanax, ecstasy, and several opioids in his system.
“It’s a wonder he was still conscious,” said Mark Simpson, Bieber’s arresting officer. “There was enough in his system to kill a small herd of elephants. I don’t think Monmouth is quite ready for a character like him.”
Since his arrest, Citizens for an America Without Bieber has made several more attempts to get Bieber deported. Authorities at the Monmouth Police Department say it is something they will strongly consider.
Contact the author at awilson15@wou.edu or on Twitter @awilsonjournal
Looking to rent a unicycle so I can quit school. Going to spend my days smoking dope and looking dope while doing it. Willing to leave collateral.
I have three fists full of partially used lipsticks available. Colors are all variants of nude. Need them gone by the end of the week, no questions asked.
looking 4 dick pix. send immediately.
QUESTION: Can someone please explain to me what a “dick pic” is?? Girlfriend keeps asking for one, not sure what she wants from me.
Free to good home. 22 year old roommate. Potty trained and great with pets, but otherwise completely useless. Subsists mainly off Little Debbie products and reruns of “That 70’s Show.” If interested, please contact queenofhermits@nonmail.com
Lost Luck. Last seen on Feb. 23 at the end of Monmouth Ave. in front of Natural Science after I tripped up the stairs. After losing my luck, my life consists of a string of unfortunate events and I would really love to have it back.
Missed Connection. To the cute guy who answered a question for campus voices a few weeks ago and also had a camera around his neck, are you single? Send your answer to The Journal office at 503-838-8347. Asking for a friend.
Frisky trio looking for adventurous fourth. Possible blood sacrifice, dress appropriately. Meet @ the Grove when the moon is full if interested.
Homie Collector: Searching for interesting humans to hang out at my apartment all day. Will provide ramen, spaghetti, or linguini alfredo, dependent upon how much cash you leave me. Must enjoy wearing crazy hats, playing with trinkets on the bookshelf, and standing backward with your buttcrack out. Celebrities welcome.
In search of pre-scratched lottery scratch-offs. Need to prove to my parents that I have a gambling problem; don’t ask. Call STOVE at (912) 525-5671, but ask for BILL.
In dire need of one of them chubby garbage squirrels, y’all. Just gather as many as you can and bring ‘em on down to Larry’s Jim Jang Jamboree. Don’t bring none of those boring tree faring fools. I know the difference, y’all. Payment not readily available, but you can consider it one of them charitable donations or whatever you NPR givin’, Subaru drivin’, REI wearin’ lib’r’alls do with your squirrel money.
LONE WOLF searching for a PACK. It’s lonely on the mountaintop. Send replies ℅ WALDO.
FOR SALE: My Dignity. Lightly used, near mint. Willing to trade for pride or hubris. Just unnecessary in my day-to-day.
WANTED: Tinder Tutor. Can pay you in backhanded compliments and awkward pauses.
help im trapped in his basement please find me i need help the beatings are constant im so scared.. i cant take a noterh day of this oh god PLEasE here he comes oh my god please please PLEASE
Seeking someone to punch me right in my stupid face. I will pay fifty dollars for a knuckle sandwich. I want to taste blood for weeks. I have a face, please punch it. It’s all I want, it’s all I need, a punch in my face, a kick in my teeth.
FREE TO A GOOD HOME: One infant, eight pounds, six ounces. Excellent condition, no problems. White, dark brown hair. Runs like a champ, has all its shots. You get to name it, blank birth certificate included. Pick up near Little Caesar’s dumpster Saturday night.
WANTED: F—s. I have none left to give, and I need at least one per week to make it through the rest of my college career. Can provide payment in expired protein powder or never-been-washed shaker cups from 5 years ago. Inquire at the offices of The Journal. Door may or may not be unlocked, depending on how many f—s I have available to give that day.
HUMAN SEEKS FELLOW HUMAN FOR HUMAN ROMANCE. ENVISION A ROBOT THAT DOES NOT UNDERSTAND LOVE ON WHICH YOU MUST INSTALL LOVE.EXE WITH YOUR BODY. BUT I AM NOT A ROBOT. I AM A HUMAN. PROGRAMMING KNOWLEDGE A PLUS.
The cover of “Days at the Morisaki Bookshop” by Satoshi Yagisawa. | Photo from @ofpagesandplots on Instagram
April 8, 2026 | Jaylin Emond-Hardin | Entertainment Editor
Content warning: this book contains spoilers for “Days at the Morisaki Bookshop” by Satoshi Yagisawa
I didn’t anticipate falling in love with “Days at the Morisaki Bookshop” when I first picked it up at the Book Bin in Salem. It sat quietly on my bookshelf for nearly a year before I finally decided to read it this past spring break.
Honestly? It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read.
Set in Tokyo, Japan, the book follows Takako, who discovers her boyfriend, Hideaki, is going to marry someone else. Takako also learns that Hideaki had been in a relationship with the woman he would marry for much longer than he had been with her, and that she was, unknowingly, the other woman.
Devastated, Takako moves into the second floor of the Morisaki Bookshop, which is owned and operated by her Uncle Satoru in Tokyo’s Jinbōchō District. Jinbōchō is famous worldwide for its multitude of used bookstores, publishing houses and antique stores.
During her time at the Morisaki Bookshop, Takako begins to heal and eventually moves on from Hideaki. Later in the book, Satoru’s estranged wife, Momoko, returns, and Takako becomes close with her before helping the pair with their complicated feelings.
The book itself is only 150 pages, meaning it’s short and bittersweet. I read it in an hour, and by the end, I was absolutely sobbing. Takako’s story of healing with Satoru, then in turn, Takako helping Satoru and Momoko heal was beautiful. It felt full circle, and if it weren’t for what Satoru had done for her, Takako would not have been able to help him and Momoko.
Takako’s story of healing was beautiful, as well. At first, she didn’t want to even be at the Morisaki Bookshop, but had to be due to her leaving her job and not being able to pay rent. While it wasn’t an ideal situation in her mind, she slowly found herself enjoying it more and more, especially when she made friends with people working at the nearby coffee shop, and eventually moved on from Hideaki.
Satoru and Momoko’s storyline is especially fulfilling. When Takako goes on a hiking trip with Momoko, she discovers that her aunt is sick, refusing treatment and has only returned to see Satoru one last time. When they return home, Takako tells Satoru what she learned, and Satoru goes after Momoko, so they may be together again and he can support her. The book ends with a year’s time skip and the three of them getting coffee together.
Reading this book honestly felt like curling up under the covers with a mug of tea — which I did while I was reading.
The book has two sequels, as well: “More Days at the Morisaki Bookshop” from 2011 and “With Love from the Morisaki Bookshop” from 2024. While the first two books — “Days” and “More Days” — have been translated into English, “With Love from the Morisaki Bookshop” has not yet been translated.
I wholeheartedly recommend these books. They’re the absolute perfect slice-of-life stories that have arcs of healing and finding one’s place in the world.
Disclaimer: all articles featured in this issue are fake in celebration of April Fool’s Day
April 1, 2026 | Jaylin Emond-Hardin | Entertainment Editor
After nearly a year of planning and behind-the-scenes coordination, a new kind of campus spotlight is finally ready to roll.
That’s right, a hidden camera show — titled “Wolf Watch” — is coming to Western, but with a major difference from traditional hidden camera shows like “Impractical Jokers” or “The Carbonaro Effect.” Rather than relying on staged pranks or elaborate magic tricks, the series turns its lens toward the candid, unscripted moments of everyday student life. From awkward dining hall encounters to late-night study struggles and unexpected campus run-ins, the show aims to capture the authentic reality of being a student. By focusing on relatable experiences instead of orchestrated comedy, it offers a more genuine — and often just as funny — look at what really happens behind the scenes on campus.
Chris Coelen is set to produce, and with his recent success on Netflix’s “Love is Blind,” Western admin and “Wolf Watch” showrunners hope the show gains enough popularity to help put Western on the map. “We could desperately use the extra cash this project will earn the university,” said one Western administrator.
“I’m so excited to work with Western on this project,” Coelen said in an interview. “When I put out my casting call for universities, I never imagined I’d find this gem in the Pacific Northwest. I’ve heard so many stories from students and faculty about what can happen on campus, and I truly think it is the place where my vision will be met.”
Western students are also excited for this opportunity to be featured on reality TV.
“After ‘The College Tour’ came to WOU, I figured I had to take my shot at being on camera,” said one student, who asked to remain anonymous. “Stuff like this happens all the time with my friends. Like during finals week, one of them accidentally rode his scooter straight through wet cement outside the Health and Wellness Center.” The incident, which was posted to “PolkCo Scanner” on Facebook, occurred on Jackson Street, on the sidewalk directly across from Western’s Health and Wellness Center.
“I hope students see this as a chance just to be themselves,” Coelen said. “We know some people might try to stage moments to get on the show, but my staff will be paying close attention to what feels genuine and what doesn’t.”
Filming began March 30 and will continue until June 12, which is the Friday of finals week and the day before commencement. While “Wolf Watch” has not announced where its hidden cameras are located, students can expect them to be in public areas, including Hamersly Library, Valsetz Dining Hall, the Student Success Center and common areas of academic buildings. Cameras will not be placed in residence halls, faculty offices or classrooms, and all students will be asked to sign a consent form at the end of the term.
“Wolf Watch” is anticipated to stream on Netflix in fall 2026.
Elvis Presley poses with former President Richard Nixon in 1972. | Photo from @elvis on Instagram
Disclaimer: all articles featured in this issue are fake in celebration of April Fool’s Day
April 1, 2026 | Jaylin Emond-Hardin | Entertainment Editor
For nearly five decades, the world has accepted the official story that Elvis Presley died in 1977. But what if that narrative was never meant to be believed? What if, as quietly suggested by the Men in Black, Presley didn’t die at all, but simply went home? Newly declassified documents and a suspicious number of post-1977 sightings suggest a far stranger truth: the King of Rock and Roll may have been Earth’s most successful extraterrestrial operative.
In a declassified 1997 interview with Agent K of the Men in Black, an organization meant to police and monitor extraterrestrial activity, the veteran operative made an offhand remark that, at the time, was dismissed as dry humor: “No, Elvis is not dead, he just went home.” For decades, the line was treated as a throwaway joke, a bit of wit buried in an organization otherwise filled with memory-erasing devices and intergalactic immigration policy. But according to recently resurfaced documents and a growing chorus of amateur investigators, the comment may have been less of a joke and more of an accidental glimpse into one of the agency’s longest-running cover-ups.
Sources familiar with the matter suggest that Elvis Presley’s “death” in 1977 coincided not with a medical emergency, but with what internal reports allegedly describe as a “scheduled extraction.” Witnesses at the scene recall an unusual level of federal presence, inconsistencies in official timelines and, most curiously, a brief but widely ignored power fluctuation across the surrounding area — now theorized to be consistent with off-world transport technology. While skeptics point to the lack of credible evidence, believers argue that the absence itself is proof of a highly effective suppression effort.
Presley’s chosen style of dress may have been the most visible clue of all, hiding in plain sight beneath stage lights and screaming crowds. When he skyrocketed to fame in the 1950s, it was virtually unheard of for male performers to take the stage draped in rhinestones, gold lamé and elaborately jeweled jumpsuits. At the time, such flamboyance was dismissed as theatrical excess, a calculated attempt to stand out in a rapidly evolving music scene. But what if it wasn’t a choice at all?
According to fringe theorists and at least one “former costume designer” whose credentials cannot be verified, Presley’s wardrobe more closely resembles ceremonial attire than stagewear, with garments designed not for fashion but for function. The intricate patterns, reflective surfaces and exaggerated silhouettes may have served purposes we simply don’t understand, possibly linked to communication, status display or even environmental adaptation on his home world. The rhinestones themselves, long thought to be purely decorative, have been reinterpreted by some as primitive attempts to replicate materials not found on Earth — substitutes for crystalline structures native to his planet.
Even more curious is how effortlessly he wore them. While imitators have spent decades trying to replicate the look, few have managed to make it seem natural. On Presley, however, the outfits never appeared like costumes — they looked, as some observers have noted, “correct,” as if he were dressing according to a standard entirely his own. In retrospect, the question isn’t why Presley dressed so differently from everyone else — it’s why we assumed he was trying to dress like us at all.
And that question opens the door to a far more unsettling possibility. If the details we once dismissed as eccentricities — the voice, the presence, the otherworldly wardrobe — were in fact indicators of something else entirely, then Presley’s story may need to be reexamined from the ground up. What we interpreted as individuality could instead have been the subtle bleed-through of a different origin, one that was never meant to be fully understood.
If true, the implications are difficult to overstate. Not only would it mean that one of the most iconic figures in music history was not human, but that his meteoric rise to fame was part of a broader initiative — one designed to influence human culture through rhythm, spectacle and an unprecedented volume of hip movement. Whether ambassador, experiment or entertainer, the possibility remains that Elvis didn’t leave the building — he left the planet.
Promotional poster for season two, featuring Billy Bob Thornton as Tommy Norris. | Photo from @landmanpplus on Instagram
March 11, 2025 | Jaylin Emond-Hardin | Entertainment Editor
Content warning: this article contains spoilers for “Landman”
I never thought I’d care about the West Texas oil drills until two weeks ago. Now I know more than the average person should about what it means to run an oil company.
I’d seen a lot of clips for the show “Landman” on Instagram before I even started watching it, but I didn’t anticipate how addictive it would be. I’ll admit, I spent too many nights staying up until 1 a.m. glued to my television.
The first season opens with the main character, Tommy Norris, played by Billy Bob Thornton, tied up by members of the cartel while he tries to secure oil leases on their land for the company MTex Oil. He eventually succeeds in getting the leases signed, though not without injury.
The scene that follows immediately after? More chaos. Six months after Norris secures the oil leases, a stolen MTex plane lands on a company-owned road, where it is struck by a tanker from a rival oil company, triggering a massive explosion. I was immediately hooked.
As the show progresses, we’re introduced to Norris’ son and daughter, Cooper and Ainsley, as well as his ex-wife, Angela. Each member of the Norris clan is unique and has their own equally chaotic storyline. For example, the first crew that Cooper Norris works for is blown up in a gas accident, and he slowly starts spending time and falling in love with Ariana Medina, the widow of one of his crewmates. His plotlines are explosive — both literally and figuratively — and mean to hit home about how dangerous it is being a roughneck on an oil rig. They’re also the most frustrating, because Medina keeps going back and forth between being in love with him and insisting they can’t be together, creating a constant push-and-pull that makes their relationship feel uncertain and emotionally exhausting.
While Cooper Norris fights for life and limb to survive his career choice, Angela and Ainsley Norris’ plot lines tend to explore more of the familial and social sides of Texas. No Norris family dinner ends without Angela Norris absolutely crashing out on Tommy Norris for no apparent reason.
My favorite character, however, is Rebecca Falcone — played by Kayla Wallace, who is best known for the Hallmark series “When Calls the Heart” — the liability attorney for MTex. Initially brought in to help the company handle the situation involving the company plane and the oil tanker, Falcone quickly becomes the go-to for nearly every legal issue — even over Nathan, MTex’s attorney and administrator, played by Colm Feore of “Chicago” and “The Umbrella Academy.”
Falcone is cutthroat in litigation and knows how to stand her ground against other attorneys, as well as the powerful executives and oilmen who try to intimidate or outmaneuver her. Confident and sharp-tongued, she navigates high-stakes legal battles with a mix of strategic thinking and unapologetic toughness, quickly establishing herself as someone the company relies on when situations become complicated or volatile. Honestly, I was excited when she returned for Season 2, especially when the stakes were raised. While I love Angela and Ainsley Norris, they tend to err on the side of insufferable and out of touch, which I know is the point of their characters, but there is only so much I can handle of them.
As I said earlier, Season 2 really ups the show’s stakes. At the end of the first season, MTex’s CEO, Monty Miller, passes after he suffers a heart attack. His wife, Cami Miller, then becomes CEO and appoints Tommy Norris as president. This is when things amp up.
MTex is in a financial crisis. Monty Miller knew how to play longball, but when he passed, it meant that Cami Miller could not access the accounts he had the company’s finances in. So, she started turning to Gallino, a cartel boss who runs drugs on MTex’s roads.
It’s messy, but oh so riveting.
Cooper Norris and Medina’s relationship also steadies out in this season. The pair decides that, yes, they in fact can make this relationship work, though Medina wants Cooper Norris to drive to Corpus Christi to ask her father’s permission before he marries her. When she asked him to do that, I was so ecstatic. They were finally settling into being with each other and not pushing away.
Season 2 didn’t come without controversy, however. It seems that no work by Taylor Sheridan — the show’s creator, who is also known for the “Yellowstone” universe — is without its dispute.
“Landman’s” controversy comes in Episode 9 of Season 2, when Ainsley Cooper goes to TCU for cheer camp. There, she meets Paigyn Meester, her pre-assigned roommate, who will also be her roommate in the fall. It’s clear that the pair doesn’t mesh well from the start. Meester is nonbinary, vegan and has a ferret. Ainsley Cooper, being an upper-middle-class suburban girl, has not interacted with people who do not share her own identity. It’s an interesting commentary on identity, culture clash and the discomfort that can arise when people with vastly different worldviews are suddenly forced to share space. What begins as awkward tension quickly turns into a broader reflection of generational attitudes, privilege and the assumptions people carry with them into unfamiliar environments.
However, this is where the controversy has arisen. Many members of the LGBTQ+ community feel that Meester is a stereotype, an inaccurate representation and mean-spirited.
Bobbi Salvör Menuez, Meester’s actor, admitted they were barely familiar with Sheridan and his works when they signed on for the show.
“I’d seen posters, I’d seen flyers, but I actually hadn’t seen the show before. So, I didn’t even totally comprehend how big of a deal it was until all those CCed agents on the chain that I don’t even usually talk to are suddenly texting me, ‘Congratulations!’” they said in an interview.
But once they realized the scale of the audience and the inevitable reactions to Meester’s identity, they prepared themselves.
“Knowing the impact of this show, I just knew there would be a lot of different responses from all sides of the spectrum,” Menuez said. “If you look at American politics, obviously this is a hot button topic.”
Honestly, I loved the two episodes that Menuez starred in. They explored prejudice and the treatment of others, no matter what someone feels about someone’s identity, beliefs or lifestyle. The storyline forced the characters to confront their own biases and discomfort, showing how quickly people can be to judge what they don’t understand. By putting those tensions front and center, the episodes highlight how empathy and basic respect should exist even when people fundamentally disagree.
“Landman” has been renewed for a third season, which will likely be released in November 2026, following the schedule of the previous two seasons. It is currently streaming on Paramount+, which is where the third season will be released in the fall.
