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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Oddly satisfying: the way Gru from “Despicable Me” says “Gorls.” [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Four more weeks… [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] I may have been born in the ‘90s, but my soul is from the Middle Ages (: <3 <3 [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] When you just ate a carrot and you haven’t lost any weight yet, there is something wrong with the system! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Is it okay if I use this as this week’s horoscope? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Oooh, the judge is gonna give you a life-sentence because you have been absolutely KILLING IT this week. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] The stars think it was totally reasonable of you to be late to class because you stopped to pet the cat. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] You’re wrong about the moon. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] Life is too short to spend it doubting yourself, Sagittarius. Remember that when you start to question why you’re rewatching “The Office” for the third time this year. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] The stars see three full-size pizzas that will be consumed solely by you in your future. And by your future, we mean within the next week. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Fruit Loops are in your future, Aquarius. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Best believe that the last time you saw your crush, you had some big old crusty nose gold visible — and boy did they notice! With that in mind, HAVE A GREAT WEEK! [/fruitful_tab]

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