Self-injury causes great distress, and can seem a difficult problem to overcome. But it is possible for a woman to stop hurting herself, if she can understand and resolves the problems behind what she does.

If you are someone who self-injures...

...think about what your self-injury is "saying" about your feeling and your life. This will give you clues about problems that you need to work on. You might find it helpful to talk about your self-injury and what lies behind it with friends or a counselor. To find out about counseling, contact the counseling center

If you want to help someone who self-injures...

...naturally you may feel upset, shocked, or angry when someone you care about hurts herself. Try to keep seeing the person in pain behind the injuries. The most precious things you can offer are acceptance and support. Let your friend know you understand that self-injury is helping her to cope at the moment. She is not "bad" or "mad" for doing it. You could invite her to talk about her feelings, or to call you if she is having a difficult time. But only offer as much as you can cope with, and don't try to take responsibility for stopping her from hurting herself.

What is self-injury?

• "Self-injury" is any sort of self-harm which involves inflicting injuries or pain on one's own body. It can take many forms.
• The most common form of self-injury is probably cutting, usually superficially, but sometimes deeply. Women may also burn themselves, punch themselves, or hit their bodies against something. Some people pick their skin or pull out hair.

How common is self-injury?

• Self-injury is far more widespread than is generally realized. All sorts of people self-injure. Often they carry on successful careers or look after families and there is little outward sign that there is anything wrong. Self-injury seems to be more common among woman, partly because men are more likely to express strong feelings such as anger outwardly.
• Many women who self-injure believe they are the only person that hurts themselves in this way. Fear and shame may force women to keep self-injury secret for many years. This means that the true extent of the problem is unknown. Our experience shows that where it is acceptable to talk about it, many women reveal that they have self-injured for some time.

Why do women self-injure?

• There are always powerful reasons why a woman hurts herself. For most women it is a way of surviving great emotional pain.
• Many people cope with difficulties in their lives in ways that are risky and harmful to them. Some drink or eat too much, smoke, drive too fast, gable, or make themselves ill through overwork or worry. They might do this to numb or distract themselves from problems or feelings they cannot bear to face.
• Self-injury, though shocking, bears many similarities to these "ordinary" forms of self-harm. Like alcohol or drugs, hurting herself may help a woman block out painful feelings. Like taking risks or gambling, it may provide danger and distraction
• Woman's selfl-injury is a "cry for help," a way of showing (even to herself) that she has suffered and is in pain. Perhaps hurting herself is a way of feeling "real" and alive, or having control over "something" in her life. What lies behind women's distress may be painful experiences in childhood or adulthood. A woman may have suffered neglect or abuse, or may have always been criticized or silenced, rather than supported and allowed to express her needs and feelings. Some women who self-injure lost their parents early, or came from chaotic or violent families. For others, adult experiences of emotional or physical cruelty have led to their desperation.